While writing about the fact that i hate double standards and finding an appropriate YouTube video yesterday I came across an article on AskMen.com. It listed the Top 10 dating double standards men face. I’m gonna list them here and then we can discuss them.
#10
Breaking up
Men are jerks, women are victims
One of the hardest positions a man can be in is when he’s involved in a relationship that is about to end. Whether he’s dissatisfied with his woman or is about to get blindsided with bad news, there is little doubt he’s stuck. Why? Because, for some reason, our society seems to dictate that no matter what happens, the man can never walk away smelling like roses. If she ends the relationship, it’s because he’s a jerk, and if he ends it, it’s because he’s a jerk. Talk about being wedged between a rock and a hard place…
#9
Men ask and pay, women accept and smile Double standards are not only reserved for big, important issues in a relationship; smaller but still relevant topics are subject to society’s skewed view as well. Take the example of a man and a woman on a date at a restaurant. If the man gathered up enough courage to ask her out, he is expected to pay for the meal because he initiated the night out. This practice is common nowadays and, unfortunately, goes on with little dispute.
In the rare case that the woman made the first move and asked for a night out, the man is still expected to pay because, simply, it’s the right thing to do. It is ingrained in our minds that to be gentlemanly means, among other things, to put down the cash on a date.
#8
Men are controlled by libido, women are neglected Another sticky situation arises when you or your girlfriend gets mixed up with another mate. For whatever reason, one of you made the regrettable mistake of hooking up with someone for a night of passion. Now, from the outside looking in, here’s what generally goes down:
If she cheats, the perception is that you have not been pulling your weight (i.e. he’s no good in bed, he’s insensitive, etc.). Somewhere along the way, you slipped up, leaving her no other choice but to look somewhere else for satisfaction. As unfair as this seems, it is true.
If you cheat, it is attributed to an unquenchable need to please your libido. It’s as if being faithful is a feat in and of itself. Again, the blame is inexplicably diverted away from the woman, leaving the man open for much criticism.
#7
Men will cheat, women have control Complications usually arise when you or your woman has friends of the opposite sex. A woman may justify her friendships with a couple of guys by saying she is always in total control of her emotions and is able to separate “boyfriend” from “boy friend.” Conflicts of interest are hardly ever brought up for the fairer sex because of the supposed control they have.
Of course, when the shoe’s on the other foot, things can get messy. A man who has close female friends is usually accused of several dishonorable things. He gets accused of keeping this friend for times of loneliness (i.e. in case of increased libido). Even if he doesn’t have deep feelings for this friend, his girlfriend may make the point that, in a moment of weakness, he may fall prey to animal instinct. This is yet another situation where men do not get the benefit of the doubt.
#6
Men are players, women are being “nice”Flirting can be a really entertaining way of procuring a phone number or the name of a pretty woman across the way. Done right, this little game demonstrates that you’re a smooth, debonair guy. In most situations, however, men who flirt with a few women at a nightclub or even in the office are seen as having intentions that go beyond being friendly. Eventually, many people would say, the man wants to get into that lady’s pants. The generalization is made that the man who flirts undoubtedly has a hidden agenda.
Women who react to a man’s advances or who start conversations and innocently tease men are not viewed in the same light. In fact, most of the time, a woman would defend herself by saying that she was “simply being nice” to the guy next to her at the bar. Often, it is men who are viewed as having ulterior motives.
Yeah, yeah, women are victims too…
#5
Men interrogate, women are concernedMen can get into so much trouble, even if what they do comes via good intentions. After your woman comes home from a long day at work, is it not proper to ask how her day went? I thought so too, but after those questions were met with snarky replies that I was simply digging for dirt, I was more confused about the opposite sex than ever. A simple attempt to get a peek into a loved one’s day can be met with attitude, because the impression is that men are always interrogating, making sure their women stay “on track.”
The situation is not as rosy if you don’t ask for details either. Instead of coming off as jealous, you’ll seem indifferent about your woman. Any way you look at it, there is no easy way out, gentlemen.
But women, oh, when women ask about where you went, how many beers you had, or why you didn’t call, they’re just being inquisitive because they “care.” Uh-huh.
#4
Men are whipped, women are clingyPeaceful, relaxing nights alone with your honey strengthens the bond between you and allows you to enjoy each other’s company without outside distractions. However, the need to spend time together alone brings some societal pressures as well. If your girlfriend bugs you to spend more of your hours with her, she can come off as clingy — a big turnoff. Unfortunately, many of us are too quick to hand down this judgment when she could simply, in fact, miss you.
The last thing a man wants to do is get caught doing the same thing: no guy likes being called “p-whipped.” It insults our manhood to know that our friends see us as controlled by a woman, but it is a stereotype many, unfortunately, lay down.
#3
Men are glorified, women are ostracizedIn a relationship that is not exclusive (i.e. one where both sides have agreed to date other people as well), people are not afraid to cast judgment on both sexes. The guy who’s simultaneously dating multiple women is praised and thought of as “da man” or “a pimp.” He’s simply doing his job; playing the game and gaining many lady friends out of it.
The same accolades are not reserved for women who have ties to a few different men. In fact, the response is the polar opposite. She can be called the most degrading names in the book, as she is being promiscuous and “easy.” These accusations are certainly not uncommon, even in today’s lax dating circles.
#2
Men are chivalrous, women are catty or aggressiveContrary to what you may think, chivalry is not always a flattering attribute. You are only rewarded for your heroic acts in certain situations. For instance, if a man at the next table refuses to keep his voice down or doesn’t stop smoking even though it’s a smoke-free restaurant, you should get the green light to stand up for your woman’s right to enjoy the night and say something. Resolving this conflict and others that affect her time with you will net you big points.
But if the waitress is flirting with you, or your woman verbally chews someone out, then she’s considered aggressive or abrasive. Unfortunately, we still deem women soft, for lack of a better word, and the moment they stand up for themselves and become argumentative with men or women, their femininity goes out the window.
#1
Men are dysfunctional, women need better loversPerhaps the ultimate examples of strict double standards are seen when issues of sex are brought up. When things are going well in bed, nothing in the world will bother you. However, it is the times when your sexual chemistries don’t jive that problems will arise.
If a man is struggling with his orgasm, it’s an embarrassing problem that he is unlikely to admit without some prodding. His girlfriend may be quick to assume he has erectile dysfunction, though there a slew of mental issues to blame for his inability to perform.
When it is the woman who can’t reach her climax, no assumptions are made that she may have some problems to deal with. Often, the finger is pointed at the man: he has no skills in bed and has failed to excite his woman enough. Will anyone ever cut us some slack?
Hmmm…what do you think about this? True or not?
